Happiness Isn’t Given—It’s Chosen

I remember, once upon a time, walking through the grocery store. It was just a routine trip- picking up a few necessities for the upcoming week.

As I passed the floral section, my senses were immediately overtaken by the most fragrant aroma. In an instant, nostalgia set in.

I began to reminisce about the flowers I had been gifted in the past—and how, in those moments, I felt on top of the world.

I felt special.

I felt seen.

I felt wanted.

I felt beautiful.

I felt needed.

I felt… indestructible.

It took me right back to a scene from Coming to America, when Prince Akeem sings, “To be loved… oh, to be loved… what a feeling to be loved.”

That joy he sang about!

That’s exactly how I felt in those receiving moments.

What’s shocking is how quickly emotions can shift.

In the middle of a routine task, I found myself spiraling into a full-on meltdown—right there in the grocery store.

I went from smiling… to being overwhelmed by a wave of sadness.

Memories flooded in.

A web of flashbacks from relationships past—each one signaling something unresolved.

And before I knew it, my thoughts were racing:

What did I lose?

What lost me?

What I felt I deserved—but never received?

What am I still longing for?

Love lost… and never regained.

How come I can’t keep a man?

Sis- I was going there… LOL!

If a pity party were a person?

Let’s just say… it was me. So much pity!

But at that moment, something became very clear to me.

If there is one thing I never want to depend on another person for—it’s my happiness.

That’s too much power for anyone to hold.

And the truth is, Sis…we don’t need another person to make us happy.

Nor should we ever assign that responsibility to anyone else.

If I’ve learned anything through life’s highs and lows—through failed marriages, broken relationships, both romantic and platonic—

it’s this:

I am responsible for my own happiness.

Happiness comes from within.

And learning how to access it?

That became the work.

I had to be intentional—about how I see myself, how I think about myself, how I care for myself.

Self-love. Self-care.

Not as a fad—but as discipline.

As practice.

As a muscle that had to be strengthened.

And here’s what I know to be true—

God has already equipped us with everything we need.

We lack nothing!

And anything we feel we lack can be found by seeking Him—not His creation.

He is the source of our strength.

Our compass.

Our guide.

And His truth…is where real happiness begins.

So today, I challenge you—

Pause.

Reflect.

What—or who—have you assigned responsibility for your happiness to?

And how has that impacted you?

Is it time for a shift?

If the answer is yes…

Then do what I did.

Acknowledge where your thinking has been off.

Lean into your source.

Make the decision to show up for yourself.

Because in that very moment—standing in the grocery store, overwhelmed and emotional—

I made a different choice.

I decided to change the narrative.

To redefine that moment. To repurpose it.

I wiped my tears.

And I walked over to the floral counter.

I bought myself the largest bouquet of beautiful flowers I could find.

I took a deep breath in…

And I said, with intention:

I am happy.

I am beautiful.

I deserve these flowers.

And for that reason alone—they were coming home with me.

And they did.

So maybe…

Today is the day YOU BUY YOURSELF Flowers.

Because Sis—

You are so deserving.