The Strong Woman Myth is Breaking Women
The Compliment That Became a Contradiction
She’s the one everyone calls strong- the one who shows up, holds it together, and often
carries what no one else is willing to. Many of us have heard it more than a time or two
in our lifetime: “Girl, you are so strong...I don’t know how you do it”. And every time
it’s said, it sounds like a compliment, but it feels like a well-dressed contradiction.
Because the truth is, I am not really doing “it”, I am surviving! Pushing through what was
never meant to be carried alone. And if I am honest, there have been moments I wanted
to scream, “I am not actually doing it- I am silently deteriorating from the inside out”.
But yet, the performance continues. I continue to carry the label that I never desired or
agreed to claim. All the while, few ever simply stop to ask the one question that matters
most: Are you okay?
What the Data Is Quietly Revealing
But Sis- the reality is that the data is staring us right in our faces and it’s telling the
REAL STORY—one we can no longer afford to ignore. Across the country, women are
consistently reporting higher levels of stress, anxiety, and depression more than men,
with millions of us falling into the highest stress ranges—levels that are not just
emotional, but deeply physiological and continues to build over time. As women- we
carry so darn much! We are wearing so many different hats- working mothers, single
parents, caregivers for aging parents and extending family members (Mi Mi, Gi Gi,
Grandma, Glama) whatever term of endearment you have- the bottom line is that we
are providing support to so many often without support for ourselves.
Not a surprise to me... but more than 1 in 5 women are reporting symptoms of anxiety.
Not to mention that rates of depression continue to rise, not as a temporary spike, but
as a troubling trend and one that we should all be concerned about. Today, over a
quarter of women are navigating some form of mental illness each year—and guess
what? These are the very same women being praised for their strength. Ironic? I think
not!
And the impact doesn’t stop at just poor mental health. Chronic stress is now directly
linked to the leading cause of death among women—heart disease—while thousands of
women are lost each year to suicide. Everyone needs to take an immediate pause and
ask the real question…
Are you ok, Sis?
I often used to ask, “Where do the strong go?” If everyone is always looking to me, where is my safe space? I no longer consider “being strong” to be a badge of honor. It exhausted me and left me feeling decimated. Real strength is asking each other and ourselves “Are we ok?”. And you know what, if the answer is no, that’s ok. Taking time to exhale, ground ourselves and honoring the spaces we find ourselves is the path we should walk every day. Stress will always be there. But peace is intentional and purposeful. One step; one breath at a time.
Sad but all facts. Being the one that holds it down or all together only works for everyone else.
This is powerful and painfully honest. You captured something so many women feel but rarely say out loud—the way “strength” can become a silent burden instead of a badge of honor. That line about not “doing it” but surviving really hits.
Thank you for putting language to what so many are carrying and for reminding us to ask the question that actually matters This is more than a message—it’s a necessary wake-up call. ❤️❤️❤️.