Wrong Prescription: Stop Trying to See Yourself Through Someone Else’s Lens

Have you ever tried so hard to be seen… only to feel completely invisible anyway?

To belong

To fit in

To prove yourself worthy of taking up space—professionally, personally, emotionally.

And somehow, despite all your effort, still walk away feeling like maybe… you’re not good enough. Like you’re a misfit. Like somehow, in all of it, the problem must be you.

That feeling of rejection?

It lands like a gut punch.

Because if we’re honest, most of us don’t just want to be acknowledged—we want to feel understood.

Accepted

Chosen

Seen

However, there is a very distinct and fundamental difference between wanting something and needing something.

For example—I want that designer handbag and matching pair of heels that I can’t even stand in for more than five minutes before my knees start buckling. Do I need them? No. I truly don’t.

If I never get them, is my life going to be profoundly impacted?

Nope.

But let’s just say I did get them.

The perfect opportunity arises to showcase them—paired with my favorite body-sculpting dress and dazzling accessories.

Sis… you can’t tell me anything.

I’m feeling beautiful. Makeup flawless. Confidence high. I just know every person I walk by is going to do a double take.

I glide into a room full of people.

But no one turns to look.

Seemingly, no one notices me. No double take. Barely a glance.

Now let me ask you this:

Because they didn’t “see” me or react to me the way I expected… does that suddenly mean I’m no longer as beautiful as I felt when I walked into the room?

Absolutely not.

How about this example...

You’ve spent weeks preparing for a presentation in front of your leadership team and peers. It’s evident you’ve done the work. You deliver a thoughtful, highly engaging, well-informed presentation.

Yet somehow… it feels like everyone in the room is looking through you instead of at you.

No one acknowledges the effort.

No “atta girl.”

No “Great presentation.”

Not even a subtle nod or smile signaling approval.

You walk away feeling unseen, underappreciated, and completely defeated.

Then comes the mental replay.

Did I present the data clearly?

Did I sound unprepared?

Did I sound like a babbling idiot?

The real question is…

Why?

Why is validation from other people so deeply tied to how we feel about ourselves?

Why do we need someone else’s approval in order to feel worthy?

Needed?

Seen?

Why do compliments become prerequisites for us to feel beautiful?

I get it.

I really do!!

It's human nature to want connection. To belong. To feel valued.

But when we don’t receive the response we expected—or when people fail to relate to us in ways we hoped—they can unknowingly become mirrors we use to define ourselves.

And that’s the real issue.

Because somewhere along the way, our self-worth becomes intertwined with someone else’s inability to recognize our value.

So how about we reframe this narrative, Sis?

Think about prescription glasses for a moment.

For those of us who wear them—have you ever tried on someone else’s?

How clearly could you see?

Your vision was likely blurry.

Distorted.

Maybe even strained.

Yet the person who owns those glasses sees perfectly through them.

Why?

Because the prescription was customized for them.

Their lens was designed around their vision.

And that is exactly why we should never try to see ourselves through someone else’s lens.

Their perspective is shaped by:

their experiences,

their insecurities,

their limitations,

their preferences,

their blind spots.

And sometimes?

Their inability to see you clearly has absolutely nothing to do with your value.

It simply means they don’t have the prescription for you and vice versa.

So stop shrinking.

Stop second-guessing yourself.

Stop allowing someone else’s inability to recognize your value to become evidence against your worth.

Because Sis—

You were never meant to see yourself through someone else’s prescription.

And never allow yourself to be defined by someone else’s view.

They don’t have the lens to see you clearly.

The wrong prescription will always distort the right reflection.

And maybe—just maybe—

It’s time to stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?”

…and start asking:

“Why am I trusting people with blurry vision to define what they were never equipped to see?”