If You Saw What They See, You Wouldn’t “Seesaw”

The Intro: Emotional Roller Coaster- Struggling with Self-Love and Self-Worth

Sis, if I asked you to describe yourself, would your words sound like love—or criticism?

Wait… don’t answer. Not yet.

I’d really like to avoid the slight chance that you’ll be tempted to respond in a knee-jerk kind of way—blurting out an answer that feels safe, familiar, non-confrontational… one that allows you to skate right past the truth.

We’re not doing that today.

And when I say we, I’m really talking about me.

Because this—right here—is truly a place of struggle for me.

And since I know firsthand that real healing requires confrontation, for my own sake—and hopefully to help someone else heal in the process—I want to take tangible steps toward it by bringing awareness to this area.

So, you might ask… what’s prompting me to write about this now?

Recently, I had my first-ever photoshoot for You OK Sis?

Exciting, right?

I exercised careful thought and consideration in choosing my outfits and accessories.

Sis—I was ready.

Or so I thought.

That was until the moment I stood in front of the camera and heard the first click of the shutter.

I posed.

I smiled.

I adjusted my clothes over and over again with nervous energy.

I could feel my pressure rising.

My palms getting clammy.

My face carrying a hundred different expressions—none of which felt suitable for the “perfect” image I had in my head.

And that was the problem.

I couldn’t get out of my own head.

I found myself cracking jokes and making sly little comments about my appearance… about how my clothes were fitting… criticizing myself in real time.

I was noticeably awkward.

Then, in an instant, the photographer stopped me dead in my tracks and said something that left me visibly shaken—and forced me into some serious reflection.

So what did he say?

I know you want to know.

It was short.

Curt.

But painfully accurate.

He said:

“I’ve listened to the way you’ve spoken about yourself, and you are incredibly critical. Why?”

Then he followed it with:

“You are an extremely beautiful woman. But what you’re doing is the equivalent of stabbing your ownself in the back.”

I was speechless.

And the truth is…

He was right.

As jolting as it was to hear, someone needed to say it.

Funny thing is—he wasn’t the first person.

In fact, I’ve heard versions of that same truth countless times over the years.

But I never chose to really hear it.

Well…

Not until now.

I want to overcome this.

I really do.

But somehow, I keep allowing myself to drift back into this low place—this place where self-love feels conditional and self-worth feels negotiable.

A few extra pounds.

A few wrinkles.

New gray hairs sprouting up every other day.

The scale flashing a number I didn’t expect.

And suddenly…

I spiral.

I could write an entire book on this topic alone.

At the very least, a fifty-page dissertation.

But I believe this blog is a good first step.

A first step toward shining a light on something many women—myself included—are silently struggling with.

Surely, I can’t be the only one.

Right?

Is any of this resonating with you, Sis?

Because I know there’s no possible way to unpack something this deep in one blog.

So for the benefit of myself—and my sisters—we’re going deep.

All the way.

Here’s where we start.

Subscribe now and follow me across all social media platforms as You OK Sis? takes this topic head-on.

No chasers.

No sugarcoating.

Just truth.

A mirror held directly in front of us so we can finally see ourselves for who we truly are—and learn to love ourselves as we are.

Not next week.

Not next year.

Not after we lose the weight.

Not after we accomplish the goal.

Not after we become “better.”

But now.

Sis, the love starts now.

And we have the power to do it.

Every week, I’ll be dropping a new blog leading up to the launch of the series:

Perfect As You Are

A Self-Worth Series by You OK Sis?

Follow me.

I promise—you won’t want to miss a single word.

We’re going to the root of this thing.

And we're honest?

For most of us…

It didn’t start in adulthood.